Acceptance

I have come to realize that I have a hard time with acceptance. I have this vision of what I want my life to look like, now or in the future and I get frustrated/upset when it does not happen the way I invisioned. When I think about it, I know it's absolutely crazy to think I can make my life the way I want it because if there's one thing that's for certain is that all we have control over is our attitude and mind set. Sure, you can have goals, dreams, desires- but by no means should we have a set plan. That's the big guy upstairs' plan. I just have a really hard time accepting that. This does not mean I do not trust God, but I know it definitely comes off that way. I just pray I gain the ability to distinguish what I think I deserve from what God knows I need. This is where one of my favorite prayers comes in:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the thing a I can, and wisdom to know the difference"

It is so simply said and so powerful. It reminds me of my parents bathroom- my mom had it in a frame sitting on her side of the vanity, a memory I will cherish as I try to live out the prayer. 

Acceptance, I need to truly start  accepting my life in the present moment and I need to let go of my strong planned views. I know God is just laughing up there at me because when I plan all this it basically me saying "my plan is better than yours" which is by all means NOT true. His plan is powerful, loving, and perfect if we truly understand and accept but it's not as easy as it sounds. Even better though, that's the beauty of your relationship with God- you have this desire to think a certain way despite human nature and it's hard yet when you keep the strong desire and faith in God, you will one day have a realization and everything will click, and if the day doesn't come before you pass away not only do you receive ultimate redemption but you go out trying to fulfill it. God is powerful, we just have to tune in to his power. 

Dear Lord,

As I try to focus my thoughts on you throughout the day, please be patient with me when my thoughts go astray. Please understand that my ultimate desire is to be in constant communication with you, that is my deep desire. Through communication with you I can live out your word and shed my light on other people. Do not let me get discouraged when I stray, but give me the strength to recognize it and fix it. Thank you for this relationship you and I have, it is through this where I see your true beauty. Amen.