One of my goals this year was to be more active with this blog. Well... it's the end April and I have yet to post. The old me would get all upset and worked up over this, but not anymore. I've experienced this little thing called God's grace and He has shown me the value in knowing and accepting His grace. I recently read a quote that really stuck with me:
"Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God's grace."
Man that is so powerful and humbling. If you think about it... we are << t e m p l e s >> of His unending grace . And the craziest part? We don't deserve any of it. I feel we can get so caught up worrying and comparing ourselves to other's lives. When we compare, we start believing that things aren't fair. This desire of "fairness" builds, but as my Pastor beautifully put it: "don't ask for 'fair,' ask for grace. 'Fair' would be paying for our daily sins, and let's be real that would not be pretty. Shift your perspective and start asking for His grace." So when you think about it the definition of grace "unmerited, undeserved, unearned favor," you begin to realize how much we don't deserve Him, yet He continues to give Himself to us: His love. His comfort. His guidance. His refuge. His everything. You begin to realize that nothing you do or do not do changes how He views us. What a flippin' relief. Every hour, every minute, every second of every day He extends Himself to us, inviting us in to be with Him. Period. Let's live as such; anticipating God will intervene any and every second.
After nearly a year passing since submitting my Medical School applications... I have 2 more schools to hear back from. 2. Out of about 30. Did I have hopes this process would have gone differently? You bet. Did I pray that I would have already gotten an interview and been accepted by now? 100%. Did I think that even if I hadn't gotten an interview I would have at least heard back from every school by now? Yup. Have I wanted to accept defeat and start planning what I am going to do next? Oh yes. However, something has been on my heart to just wait, continue to wait before making any moves. This has been one of the toughest, tiresome, draining things I have ever had to go through. I have been pressing into God and accepting His invite to meet Him where I am at as much as I can, praying that I grow with and through Him throughout this process. I am beyond thankful that I have been able to do so as much as I have. I owe it to the support and guidance from my Pastor and dear friends who have allowed me to vent and have poured Jesus in to me, fueling my desire to press in to Him. Recently, I have been playing the new Bethel CD on repeat and the song "Take Courage" struck me the first time I heard it. I am not sure if it is just me, but for some reason certain lyrics don't register or really hit me until specific moments, typically not the first time listening to the song. I began writing out this post and "Take Courage" came on... I stopped in my tracks and just sat mesmerized, listening to every single word. These lyrics could not have come at a more perfect time.
"Take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting.
Hold on to your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He's never failing"
He is IN this waiting. And He NEVER fails. Friends, isn't there is something so comforting about that declaration?! He is with us and never fails us. We think having all the answers to every part of our lives will make life so great, but in reality we don't have to have any answer to obey Him. He invites us in and asks us to be with Him. We just have to take the invitation. Pray to Him, praise Him, talk to Him, sit with Him. Shifting our perspective to make Him and His vision our priority is the answer and friends, let me tell you, it changes everything; we start to see HIM in everything.
Waiting = obeying God. (my previous post is actually about this too.. clearly there's a theme here. That post can be found here!)
It takes courage to chose to trust Him and not doubt.
It takes courage to chose to hold on to the hope He gives and not run to earthly desires.
It takes courage to chose to stand in confidence in His truths and not hide in fear and the lies we tell ourselves.
Funny thing is... He gives us the courage we need when we choose Him. HE NEVER FAILS. Let's all choose Him with confidence knowing He fills us with courage and never fails. He has already won friends. And that truth right there is enough to get me through this season. He waited for me to surrender my heart to Him and I will wait for Him to reveal His glory. This waiting may be frustrating, but knowing He is working all things together for MY good. OHHHHH man, I'll wait for that. And I will thank and praise Him for the grace He extends when I disobey.
Thank you LORD for this beautiful reminder. Thank you for the grace you so freely extend to us, daily. Thank you for your invitation to be with You every moment and thank you that none of my actions affect that.
Thank you for Your sovereignty that kindly reminds me that You have gone before me, every single step of this journey. Lord thank you for revealing Yourself to me in those moments I so desperately need You. Thank you for your love and presence that kindly reminds me You are with me every step of this journey. I lift my all my anxieties, worries, doubts, confusion, and frustration up to You, knowing You are working it all together for MY good. I will wait in obedience, knowing that when my time comes, YOUR glory will be revealed. God I thank you for being so patient with me when I disobey You, and teaching me to be patient with myself. Thank you for showing up and showing off, even when I don't ask. Thank you for Your VICTORY.
AMEN.
Showing posts with label Grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grace. Show all posts
Monday, April 24, 2017
Friday, September 2, 2016
S A V E D B Y C H R I S T >> season of revival and growth
Saved by Christ.
I am kicking myself now for not writing this post sooner, but I have been completely overwhelmed in the best way possible with the way God is working in my life right now. More things have come to fruition than I ever thought was possible. I am gaining new knowledge and wisdom through the Lord daily and He continues to blow my mind.
My last post was right at the beginning of my revival... I had just reconnected with a dear friend/old volleyball teammate from college that I thought I lost, and a dear friend I had played softball with since I was a little girl. It is hard to put into words what exactly they have done for me, but it has been a massive blessing to say the least. God placed these two girls back in my life, at that moment, specifically to guide me back to Him. As I say it, they are God's angels sent by God to save me. Both have shed God's wisdom, love, grace, and mercy on me and have lead me to where I am now.
Friend from college/old teammate: Christina
It had been about 3 years since I had seen her. One day, I got a sudden urge to message her on Facebook; I explained how much I missed her, how I enjoyed seeing all her happiness after leaving CT through Facebook and asked her if she would want to get together. She was overjoyed I had reached out and we met up for coffee that same week. I honestly wasn't sure what to expect, but let me tell you, God knew exactly what was going to happen. Christina opened up and shared her story with me. Her vulnerability was beyond inspiring and her revival with Christ was even more so. I shared what had been going on in the past few years of my life and we were connected on such a deeper level. (Background info: When I first met Christina, back in CT, we immediately connected. As our other teammates would go tanning in between practices on double days; Christina and I would go sit in a lounge talking about life and God. I knew right then that we would be great friends. Christina saw the madness of our coach and was able to escape after her freshman year, hence the 3 years since I had seen her) Anywho, we shared something that I have never been able to share with anyone before. She understood everything I went through in CT because she was once there too. Sharing the same values, beliefs, and views, we encountered the same struggles in CT. She understood what I went through and knew exactly how I felt, which was a huuuge weight lifted off my shoulders in itself. Christina shed light on her healing through J E S U S. She fearlessly explained the truth and power residing in the Gospel. That knowledge from the Gospel comes directly through God and this allows us to connect with Him on the deepest level. Now I am not going to lie, I was born and raised Catholic and the only time I ever picked up and read a Bible was for an assignment for religion classes throughout High School. I didn't know how to read it and how exactly I would get any sort of 'wisdom' out of it and that is what was keeping me from opening it in the first place... but here is where my dear friend I played softball with comes in...
Friend from childhood, softball teammate: Jayme
Back in August of 2015, a group of us teammates got together for dinner. I sat next to Jayme and our other friend Taylor. It almost felt as if we were having our own conversation most of the time... we just reconnected very easily. As soon as Jayme and I got to talking we began to realize how much of the same person we were. We ended up sharing food and this was the start of a my huge revival. From that moment on God sent Jayme after my heart. She continuously invited me to Flood, a church service on Thursday nights. Unfortunately I had a prior engagement on Thursdays; I was training for a half-marathon and Thursdays was a group run. A month later Jayme, Taylor, and I attended a worship night called Ignite and not to be funny... this truly ignited a spark inside me. I had never listened to worship music and never understood the power of it, however that night I was inspired and even more intrigued to try and make Flood one night. Of course God has a funny way of working out. Soon after Ignite, I had received the news that I should not run on my knee because of the extremely crappy condition it is in (3 surgeries later). This meant I would be a fool to continue training and run in the half marathon. Devastated on a whole new level for many reasons; I am never the one to listen to my body, give up on a challenge, or not complete something I said I was going to, to name a few. Unable to run any more... my Thursday nights became free and I attended Flood with Jayme for the first time.
I was immediately overwhelmed and overjoyed with the sense of God's love, a beautiful community, and complete peace with being uncomfortable. Again, I was completely in new waters after attending Catholic masses for 22 years of my life. Yeah it was awkward and uncomfortable because it wasn't what I was used to, but I experienced God's presence and felt God speaking that day more than I had in any Catholic mass I attended in my 22 years of life. That discomfort yet complete peace can only be explained through God. I was terrified and in awe all at the same time. A feeling I now know to follow in a lot places in life.. i.e. going to medical school- it completely terrifies me yet excites me all at the same time. It is how I know I am headed towards where God is leading me.
Flood. Flood. Flood. The magical Thursday nights that have impacted my life in more ways than I can explain. I was immediately captivated by the Pastor, Brian. I love the way he speaks- I am able to soak up every piece of knowledge and wisdom he sheds every Thursday night. He is beyond caring and goes out of his way to ask how my relationship with Jesus is going throughout the week. One night at Flood, Brian explained he was going to hold meetings for those who wanted to teach us how to read the Bible. Completely terrified yet completely compelled, I signed up and met with Brian. I just remember how embarrassed I felt because I didn't even own a Bible!! That day I met with Brian was the day my entire perspective changed... I began seeing things through God. I opened up to Brian, giving him a brief background on my life story. I was explaining the hard times I went through in CT and how I have been continuously asking God why, why I went through that, why didn't I go to another school where I could have been happier, why did I stray so far from Him, the list goes on but as I was speaking that, it hit me, it wasn't until I began to come to Flood, learned God's wisdom and grew closer to Him that if the only reason I was at SHU was to break me enough to get closer to Him, as I am now, then I don't care. All the hurt, all the pain, everything was worth it." Brian immediately opened his Bible and read 2 Corinthians 1:8-10, "For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again." I broke out in tears as he read this to me. This was such a Jesus moment for me. For those that know me, I rarely cry, if ever YET the fact that Brian read three verses in a book of the Bible and I was in tears was straight proof of Jesus. It was unreal. I was there to learn how to read the Bible and I was completely exposed to how much truth it holds, first-hand. Brian taught me some tips and tricks and even bought me my first Bible a special moment that words won't come close to describing. That moment I completely understood the truth the Bible held that Christina was telling me about. Even more so, through the Gospel I have grown so much in God's wisdom it is truly indescribable and blows me away.
I have continually been able to see God's presence and hear His voice in ways I never knew were possible. The truth and wisdom I have acquired over just these past months have shifted my view on EVERYTHING. I cannot wait to grow even deeper with God throughout the rest of my life. Most recently at Flood, Brian said "You never know what things in the past God will use to show you He's been speaking to you all along and pointing you toward what He has next." WOW, how beautiful and spot on is that?! There are many ways I connected with that statement. 1) I met both Jayme in Christina in my past and God used them to show me what He's been speaking to me all along, pointing me to what He has next (my revival!) 2) We don't always see what God is doing now, but you see it on His time, which is the right time; Prior to my revival I was lost and mad at God and wondering why I had gone what I went through, yet looking back I now see what God was doing in my life. I had no idea what I was going through was preparation leading me back to Him. I now want to share my story on how my life is completely changed in the best way possible all because of Him! 3) The things you get out of what He tells you or reveals to you at a certain time can mean something completely different on a different day; I can go back in my journal and read what I wrote about a specific verse and I can connect with THAT same thing I wrote down with a completely different situation and different meaning... that to me just completely blows my mind!! 4) Just because He is silent right now does not mean He is not with you; We have to be okay with the quiet times because they push us to seek Him even harder.
I honestly cannot thank God enough for continually pursuing my heart, loving me even when I strayed, for showing me His presence, for giving me the people in my life who have lead me to Him and continue to push me to grow deeper and stronger in Him, standing alongside me as I continue to gain His wisdom.
<< Saved by His grace. Sitting in His love. Grateful for His mercy. >>
I have never been happier or prouder to say, I am a Child of God!
I am kicking myself now for not writing this post sooner, but I have been completely overwhelmed in the best way possible with the way God is working in my life right now. More things have come to fruition than I ever thought was possible. I am gaining new knowledge and wisdom through the Lord daily and He continues to blow my mind.
My last post was right at the beginning of my revival... I had just reconnected with a dear friend/old volleyball teammate from college that I thought I lost, and a dear friend I had played softball with since I was a little girl. It is hard to put into words what exactly they have done for me, but it has been a massive blessing to say the least. God placed these two girls back in my life, at that moment, specifically to guide me back to Him. As I say it, they are God's angels sent by God to save me. Both have shed God's wisdom, love, grace, and mercy on me and have lead me to where I am now.
Friend from college/old teammate: Christina
It had been about 3 years since I had seen her. One day, I got a sudden urge to message her on Facebook; I explained how much I missed her, how I enjoyed seeing all her happiness after leaving CT through Facebook and asked her if she would want to get together. She was overjoyed I had reached out and we met up for coffee that same week. I honestly wasn't sure what to expect, but let me tell you, God knew exactly what was going to happen. Christina opened up and shared her story with me. Her vulnerability was beyond inspiring and her revival with Christ was even more so. I shared what had been going on in the past few years of my life and we were connected on such a deeper level. (Background info: When I first met Christina, back in CT, we immediately connected. As our other teammates would go tanning in between practices on double days; Christina and I would go sit in a lounge talking about life and God. I knew right then that we would be great friends. Christina saw the madness of our coach and was able to escape after her freshman year, hence the 3 years since I had seen her) Anywho, we shared something that I have never been able to share with anyone before. She understood everything I went through in CT because she was once there too. Sharing the same values, beliefs, and views, we encountered the same struggles in CT. She understood what I went through and knew exactly how I felt, which was a huuuge weight lifted off my shoulders in itself. Christina shed light on her healing through J E S U S. She fearlessly explained the truth and power residing in the Gospel. That knowledge from the Gospel comes directly through God and this allows us to connect with Him on the deepest level. Now I am not going to lie, I was born and raised Catholic and the only time I ever picked up and read a Bible was for an assignment for religion classes throughout High School. I didn't know how to read it and how exactly I would get any sort of 'wisdom' out of it and that is what was keeping me from opening it in the first place... but here is where my dear friend I played softball with comes in...
Friend from childhood, softball teammate: Jayme
Back in August of 2015, a group of us teammates got together for dinner. I sat next to Jayme and our other friend Taylor. It almost felt as if we were having our own conversation most of the time... we just reconnected very easily. As soon as Jayme and I got to talking we began to realize how much of the same person we were. We ended up sharing food and this was the start of a my huge revival. From that moment on God sent Jayme after my heart. She continuously invited me to Flood, a church service on Thursday nights. Unfortunately I had a prior engagement on Thursdays; I was training for a half-marathon and Thursdays was a group run. A month later Jayme, Taylor, and I attended a worship night called Ignite and not to be funny... this truly ignited a spark inside me. I had never listened to worship music and never understood the power of it, however that night I was inspired and even more intrigued to try and make Flood one night. Of course God has a funny way of working out. Soon after Ignite, I had received the news that I should not run on my knee because of the extremely crappy condition it is in (3 surgeries later). This meant I would be a fool to continue training and run in the half marathon. Devastated on a whole new level for many reasons; I am never the one to listen to my body, give up on a challenge, or not complete something I said I was going to, to name a few. Unable to run any more... my Thursday nights became free and I attended Flood with Jayme for the first time.
I was immediately overwhelmed and overjoyed with the sense of God's love, a beautiful community, and complete peace with being uncomfortable. Again, I was completely in new waters after attending Catholic masses for 22 years of my life. Yeah it was awkward and uncomfortable because it wasn't what I was used to, but I experienced God's presence and felt God speaking that day more than I had in any Catholic mass I attended in my 22 years of life. That discomfort yet complete peace can only be explained through God. I was terrified and in awe all at the same time. A feeling I now know to follow in a lot places in life.. i.e. going to medical school- it completely terrifies me yet excites me all at the same time. It is how I know I am headed towards where God is leading me.
Flood. Flood. Flood. The magical Thursday nights that have impacted my life in more ways than I can explain. I was immediately captivated by the Pastor, Brian. I love the way he speaks- I am able to soak up every piece of knowledge and wisdom he sheds every Thursday night. He is beyond caring and goes out of his way to ask how my relationship with Jesus is going throughout the week. One night at Flood, Brian explained he was going to hold meetings for those who wanted to teach us how to read the Bible. Completely terrified yet completely compelled, I signed up and met with Brian. I just remember how embarrassed I felt because I didn't even own a Bible!! That day I met with Brian was the day my entire perspective changed... I began seeing things through God. I opened up to Brian, giving him a brief background on my life story. I was explaining the hard times I went through in CT and how I have been continuously asking God why, why I went through that, why didn't I go to another school where I could have been happier, why did I stray so far from Him, the list goes on but as I was speaking that, it hit me, it wasn't until I began to come to Flood, learned God's wisdom and grew closer to Him that if the only reason I was at SHU was to break me enough to get closer to Him, as I am now, then I don't care. All the hurt, all the pain, everything was worth it." Brian immediately opened his Bible and read 2 Corinthians 1:8-10, "For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again." I broke out in tears as he read this to me. This was such a Jesus moment for me. For those that know me, I rarely cry, if ever YET the fact that Brian read three verses in a book of the Bible and I was in tears was straight proof of Jesus. It was unreal. I was there to learn how to read the Bible and I was completely exposed to how much truth it holds, first-hand. Brian taught me some tips and tricks and even bought me my first Bible a special moment that words won't come close to describing. That moment I completely understood the truth the Bible held that Christina was telling me about. Even more so, through the Gospel I have grown so much in God's wisdom it is truly indescribable and blows me away.
I have continually been able to see God's presence and hear His voice in ways I never knew were possible. The truth and wisdom I have acquired over just these past months have shifted my view on EVERYTHING. I cannot wait to grow even deeper with God throughout the rest of my life. Most recently at Flood, Brian said "You never know what things in the past God will use to show you He's been speaking to you all along and pointing you toward what He has next." WOW, how beautiful and spot on is that?! There are many ways I connected with that statement. 1) I met both Jayme in Christina in my past and God used them to show me what He's been speaking to me all along, pointing me to what He has next (my revival!) 2) We don't always see what God is doing now, but you see it on His time, which is the right time; Prior to my revival I was lost and mad at God and wondering why I had gone what I went through, yet looking back I now see what God was doing in my life. I had no idea what I was going through was preparation leading me back to Him. I now want to share my story on how my life is completely changed in the best way possible all because of Him! 3) The things you get out of what He tells you or reveals to you at a certain time can mean something completely different on a different day; I can go back in my journal and read what I wrote about a specific verse and I can connect with THAT same thing I wrote down with a completely different situation and different meaning... that to me just completely blows my mind!! 4) Just because He is silent right now does not mean He is not with you; We have to be okay with the quiet times because they push us to seek Him even harder.
I honestly cannot thank God enough for continually pursuing my heart, loving me even when I strayed, for showing me His presence, for giving me the people in my life who have lead me to Him and continue to push me to grow deeper and stronger in Him, standing alongside me as I continue to gain His wisdom.
<< Saved by His grace. Sitting in His love. Grateful for His mercy. >>
I have never been happier or prouder to say, I am a Child of God!
