Present Over Perfect

Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. No words to describe how powerful an transforming it was for me. This only touches upon the lessons I've learned reading this book. I recommend this book with my whole heart!

Finding beauty in the quiet times. I've always been the one who creates the most hectic crazy schedule, lives on-the-go, and avoids quiet alone time. After reading Present Over Perfect I've learned so many valuable lessons.
>>1. I am not alone. Society these days is so much about exhausting or starving yourself to get that promotion or the desirable body image on that celebrity everyone adores. We are all in it together, the only difference is what we turn to, to avoid the truth and hurt that comes with it.

>>2. What we turn to is a way of masking and avoiding the fear of what we would truly face and uncover in the alone time. For me it's creating a hectic schedule, striving for perfection, and pushing my body past its limits. For others it can be alcohol, drugs, promiscuity, negativity, anything, you name it.

>>3. All these things prevent us from listening to God's word, truly embracing it, and growing with Him.

>>4. Those things we do to avoid alone time are killing our soul. Striving for perfection is slowly killing my soul. In three of the four Gospels Jesus asks, "What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul." The whole world meaning whatever you've ever wanted- whatever success means to you. Striving to gain the "good life" (whatever it even means), running toward pleasing people to "prove" your worth, striving to make more money to have the fancy things, choosing to work out when your body hasn't slept properly in days, etc. So you achieve it all, under the surface of that perfect life is exhaustion, or isolation, or emptiness. There will be a deep ache from trying to prove your worth. We drain our souls in that exhausting, empty, isolating journey. We push aside something that can feel emotions and connect with people. So why are we so quick to throw our souls aside and drudge along in search of something we wouldn't even be able to enjoy? Reading that wisdom made me realize that's what I've been missing. I've learned that in this alone time I am revealing more and more of my soul. And honestly, I crave alone time more and more now. Especially when I become stressed. Instead of turning to fear and anxiety, I just want to sit in God's presence because it is the only place that is truly safe. Our souls are what allow us to connect- with God, with other people, with nature, with art. Because of this, I've been able to connect with God, people, and nature now more than I ever have in my life.

>>5. I've been so caught up in bending and twisting myself according to others that I didn't even know what I truly enjoyed or what I didn't.
I've learned how to say no- to invitations, things, people, etc. That the freedom that comes from standing up and making a decision because it's what I feel is right for me, not looking to anyone else's opinion on the matter. The meaning of my yes has come to mean so much more, when I do use it. Saying no to busyness just because, to the extra this or that because it's offered, and no to judging myself in the mirror. And saying yes to alone time, to true connection, affirmations, and to things that feed my soul.

>>6. I've learned that I've been hiding my feelings and true emotions; putting on a front to seem strong, never asking for help. That has created someone who doesn't know how to truly feel or know how to open up to people because she never has. I've leaned that in the same way that I didn't allow myself to be taken care of by people, I didn't know how to let myself be taken care of by God. I had struggled with truly grasping God's unconditional love because I've never allowed myself to be loved by anyone else. Numbing my feelings has not only prevented me from feeling hurt, but it has prevented me from feeling true joy, love, and happiness.

>>7. With that mindset of numbing everything and not addressing the hurt, I've been placing a filter on everything I perceive. Between Jesus' voice and even conversations with people.
This book has taught me that what we hear from others and Jesus is filtered through results of what we've gone through and what we've heard from people of influence (whether negative or positive). I had been letting the experience of negative influence filter what I heard from Jesus from what he was really saying. Sitting in alone time has allowed me to recognize that, address it, and work to see things for what they truly are. The friend that doesn't want to come over doesn't mean she doesn't want to hang out with me because "I'm not good enough." The compliments people give to others doesn't mean "I'm not good enough." I've been so trained to expect criticism and disappointment and to push my feelings aside that I was doing that with Jesus. His unconditional love was only felt if I had proven Him I deserved it. I was so quick to pray for forgiveness that I didn't even see what He was trying to say all along. He's telling us that He is not criticizing us for failing, He is extending His hand to pick us up and giving us wisdom to help us figure out why we are falling in the first place. Boy does that change everything. He wants to solve it with us. We just have to ACCEPT his invitation. He gives us endless love, grace, and mercy, we just have to ACCEPT it. When we do, we feel worthy and we can stop trying to find it in other places.